((I figure we can all just kind of mess around with our characters until a customer comes in. Feel free to fight, argue, be disgusting, or whatever you want really.))
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On a bleak cloudy morning, the "Cheezy Chewz" Diner was very lazily preparing for the next day. The clock in the kitchen read 8:45 AM and was surprisingly accurate, unlike everything else about the establishment. The sign on the door said--in very smeared writing--the following words: "Operating Hours 6AM-9PM." These opening times had long since been disregarded as hardly anyone came to dine anyway. Finally, almost three hours after the supposed "opening time," the 'open' sign was placed in the front window...
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Fartel lazily crossed the messy floor that hadn't been mopped in over a decade. "Y'all are terrible," he said to no one in particular. Suddenly rethinking his statement--something he rarely does-- he quickly corrected himself. "Except you, Boburta--and your beautiful last name too for that matter." After flashing a broken, smelly grin in her direction, he went to the bar and quickly downed a shot, burping loudly. Then, talking loudly and obnoxiously to the staff, he said, "You all better not serve any of the good food today. We have some cabbage in the fridge that's been there for three years and it's starting to look more like sewage than cabbage." Pausing for a breath, he then continued. "That needs to be eaten up sometime and you know I won't be the one to do that.
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Betty Butttter waddled up to the broken mirror (which contained mostly gaps inside the frame than actual pieces of glass) and looked at herself very fondly. "Wow, I look as good as anyone here. Even better if I do say so myself." She said, giggling at the latter statement. "What do you all think? Don't I look absolutely gorgeous today?" Then, shaking her head, she quickly flattered herself again. "With my beauty, it's a wonder more customers don't come to this shack..."