The desert was beautiful. Whether the Sealer liked it or not, they couldn’t deny the beauty of the shifting landscape. After leaving the oasis, the land looked empty and bland, but with Fenrir’s expert advice and attention to detail, Sealer’s mind had opened the desert into a whole new world. The shapes of snakes and lizards under the sand. The angle of the cactus making it look like a man squatting to relieve himself. Fenrir had a sense of humor, at least, and Sealer could appreciate that he was trying to make friends after being somewhat closed off before.
Sometimes it would seem as though Fenrir wasn’t really there, he would be distracted, dissociative, wild, unmanageable. Caladaer and Sealer couldn’t do much to bring him back, except keep walking. Sooner or later, Fenrir would return.
Occasionally, too, as they were sitting together around a fire, cooking some ungodly kind of meat that Fenrir had managed to snag from the desert sand, Hubris would make himself known. It was painful to watch definitely, but more painful for Sealer to watch Cally suffer. Something had connected the two of them in a way Sealer didn’t understand. They were similar to Sorren and Willy, however the way they showed their affection wasn’t through bodyslams or wrestling matches between the sheets. It was more comforting. They helped each other. Never once did Sealer ever fall asleep without first seeing Cally pull out the golden rose, admire it, and safely stash it away again.
Sealer knew when they were leaving the desert territories. Savannah grasses slowly began to replace the cactus. Soon the grass was overtaken by undergrowth, and sparse trees. Sealer took time to marvel at how huge the world seemed. They hadn’t even seen much of it. The past few years flashed before their eyes and they ached at the memory of their life before, whatever that was. They didn’t even remember. The ancient of memories...
Sealer stopped. No. Not that. Not now. Not ever. He continued in his travels for a few more days before letting himself think once more.
_______________________________________
The smell of cooking rabbit roused the Sealer out of a deep, dreamless sleep, the first good rest they had since entering the desert. They sat up and appreciated the leaves of the trees above them. They missed it. It may or may not be their favorite. They would need to think about that. Regardless, that rabbit smelled good.
Cally emerged from the trees, practically purring with delight. A variety of flowers were bundled together in his arms. “Swamp orchids, lantern pansies, gentle hollyhock. There are so many flowers, Sealer, I’m overjoyed.”
Pansies? Hollyhock? Those were garden flowers. What were they doing in the wild in such quantity? Sealer shrugged to no one. “They look pretty Cally, what are you going to do with them?”
“Seeing the forest again is such a relief, Sealer. I am going to make us flower crowns. This hollyhock will do nicely as a ring.” Cally plopped himself down beside Sealer, pulling out a long strand of hollyhock to show. He was right, the stem was long and thick. A nice ring indeed.
“Where is Fenrir?” Sealer asked.
“He said he was going looking for something for me. Some wild lettuce maybe, who knows. He said not to worry about the rabbit, you’d wake before it burned. You’d never let it burn.” Cally chuckled to himself, “You are silly about your food, I will say that.”
His laugh sounded a bit off. Sealer frowned a bit. “Are you okay?”
Cally looked at them, his eyes were clear. “I feel fine. Are you?”
Sealer nodded, “I guess I’m just tired.”
“I understand,” Cally went on his business making crowns. Sealer watched the rabbit cook, rotating it occasionally to cook it evenly. hey were definitely hungry. Fenrir appeared as well, at some point, quietly. He pecked Cally on the cheek, as if Sealer wouldn’t notice, and sat across from him.
“Ready to tear into this rabbit?” Fenrir asked excitedly, “I’m starved.”
“Go ahead, Fen.” Sealer motioned for him to have at it.
A few minutes passed. Sealer listened intently. He could hear faintly the sound of birds, but when he concentrated, they were even fainter. Fenrir moved in an odd way. His limbs twitched occasionally. Perhaps this wasn’t Fenrir. Sealer ignored him. Cally was sitting, motionless, staring up at the trees above him. His eyes moved, maybe to follow a squirrel. Sealer also ignored that.
Sealer stood and collected their thoughts. A walk would do them good. They picked up a small piece of the rabbit, and munched on it on the way past Fenrir. The trail wasn’t far past the trees. Sealer would be back soon. The rabbit was tasteless. It left no residue on their hands. They licked their hands curiously. Nothing. They turned abruptly to look behind them.
Cally and Fenrir were behind him. Their eyes were glassy, empty. “Are you okay, Sealer?” they asked in unison.
“Y-yes, I’m going for a walk,” Sealer whispered, “I’m fine.”
Fenrir turned his head to the side, “Okay.”
Neither of them moved. Sealer took a step back. Then another. And another. They bumped into a tall, cold object. They turned around and stumbled back with a cry. Animus’s head loomed over him, ooze dripping from his mouth.
“Sssssealer...” It groaned. The lifeless body of Animus made a choking sound, “Ssssealer...”
“You killed Animus,” Fenrir and Caladaer said together. “You killed him, you killed him.”
Sealer wheezed, a pain in their side caused them to cry out. “I didn’t. I didn’t. I don’t want to remember. I didn’t, I had no choice.” They screamed as the pain intensified, “I didn’t want to. I don’t want to remember.”
___________________________
Sealer sat up right. The night was quiet. The fire was adequately banked for the night, and the sleeping bodies of Fenrir and... Cally was gone. Sealer instinctively stood up and took inventory. Where was Cally’s pack? There, by Fenrir’s. His rose? Sealer checked the pocket that kept the precious cargo. It was empty. Sealer cursed.
They moved over to Fenrir and shook him awake, gently. “Fenrir. I can’t find Cally.”
Fenrir awoke immediately. Together they scouted the area. Cally must be around somewhere. Sealer was still disoriented from their. Nightmare? Nightmare. They replayed it in their head over and over again.
Eventually they found Cally, knee deep in the undergrowth, touching a very old tree. Sealer yelled, “Cally!”
The elvian jumped, startled, and suddenly flustered. He hid an object behind his back and shuffled in front of the tree. “What are you two doing?”
“Sealer woke me up. You’d gone missing. Had to find you, of course,” Fenrir said calmly. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing. I don’t even remember. Let’s go.” Cally walked between the two of them, and Fenrir followed him effortlessly. Sealer was reluctant, but followed.
“How do you not remember, Cally?” Sealer asked.
“Easily,” Cally snapped, “Kill the Ancient of Memories. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Sealer stopped dead. Fenrir kept along with Caladaer before they both realized they had stopped.
“What did you say?” Sealer said, stepping forward to Cally.
Cally looked embarrassed, “Nothing, Sealer, I’m tired... you were prying... I’m--”
Skin connected with skin, and Cally stumbled back, a small cry escaping his lips. His cupped his hand to his face just as Sealer came to hit him again. Sealer was thrown backward, clipping a tree. Their shoulder screamed in pain, and Sealer was knocked out. He heard the howl of a wolf as he went under.
______________________
Sealer woke up. They didn’t know where they were. There was no sound. No birds. No bugs. Silence. Fear overwhelmed them. They sat up and immediately let out a yelp of pain. Dislocated shoulder. They grabbed their arm with their other hand, and stood up gently. Caladaer and Fenrir were nowhere.
Sealer panicked. They started to run in the direction they went the night before. Camp surely must be somewhere.
They didn’t know how far they ran, they must have passed the camp at least four times now. Where were they? “Fenrir? Cally?” They called into the forest, still as quiet as a tomb.
“Cally, I’m sorry!” Sealer cried, “I don’t know what came over me! I’m sorry!”
For all the Sealer knew, they were alone in the endless expanse of forest. There must be something out here. How long until he found Fenrir and Caladaer?
________________________
Several days passed before Sealer found the trail again. Several more before he caught up with Caladaer and Fenrir. They made no conversation, but welcomed Sealer back without comment. Attempts to speak with them were ignored, except for Sealer’s apology.
Sealer knew they had gone too far. Caladaer still had a bruise.