Sigge's Story (Last chapter is up!)

[Ellis]

This story is based of my cat Sigge, I have not started on the story yet, but I will
start soon! I have a lot to do, so I will post chapter after chapter, sorry for my bad English,
but right now WIP and here comes the fact about the story: the main character is Sigge, he is a gray and white cat with yellow eyes and just some visible darker stripes, Sigge have brothers, Lucifer is black with yellow eyes,
Gustav is gray and white with yellow/orange eyes and Bus is gray and white with yellow eyes, but of course this IS about Sigge. you are going to read about him, what he did outside and adventures.
just give me some time to write, and this is my first time I post a story and if I did something wrong now please let me know.

[Ellis]

Chapter 1

I woke up, Thanks to Gustav, I slowly got up to my paws, and I stretched my back legs and yawned. Then I jumped down from the bed, heading towards the food bowl. I quickly started to eat but soon the door opened and a person came into the room, I knew exactly why the person was here, because that person was going to let us go outside but of course we needed our collars and I don’t like wear it. Soon as me and my brothers had our collars on us we went outside, it was early and I could feel the morning breeze hit my fur. Fast as I could I ran for cover as I always did. After some minutes I saw Lucifer, my brother, he was walking towards the graveyard and I followed him, once I caught up I asked where he was going, but of course I got the same answer “I don’t know” with a sigh I walked past the graveyard and towards a fence at the edge of the graveyard. I was staring straight at a field, it was quite big too but I was going to explore it, I could hear paw steps behind me and I recognized the scent it was Gustav. I was not sure if he followed me but I guess he was going to explore too, but then I noticed that on the edge of that field there was a forest too, I wondered if there was anything dangerous in that forest so it might be best if I stayed away from it. I slowly entered the field; many different scents hit my nose. I was not sure if I was going to turn around or keep going but then another scent hit my nose, it was a fox! I could hear it’s paws steps coming closer towards me, without I knew it the fox was in front of me.

[Ellis]

Chapter 2

I was frozen with fear, I didn't know what to do it was like my mind just stopped. The fox growled at me, without I knew it I was running, trying to get away from the fox, but I didn't know where I was running because of the very tall grass. I could hear the paw steps after me, it got closer and closer, I was scared and then I saw a glimpse of the forest. I was running in the wrong way, I was not supposed to go to the forest, but it was too late now, I could feel how the ground under me change and then I was in the forest, running for my life. I quickly climbed a tree as high as possible and I was not thinking how high in the tree I was, I stopped to climb and then I tried to look down to see if the fox was still there, and it was still there and just waiting for me to climb down or fall down. I didn't know how many hours passed but it felt like forever, I started to get hungry but I was too scared to climb down because the fox might still be there. The sun was going down and I finely looked down to see that the fox was gone, but just then I realized I climbed to high and now I was tuck in the tree. I meowed in panic hoping my owners would hear me and help me down but no one came to help me, it felt like more hours passed just like that. It was complete dark now, leafs rustled under me and I tried to look down to see what it was but I couldn't because of my collar around my neck, and every time I tried to look around my collar just gave of a tinkling sound. I was tired but I know what would happen if I fall asleep, so I stayed awake, without I knew it the sun was already up again. Then suddenly my collar let out another sound, like a beeping sound, then I could hear a weak call, fast I recognized it, and it was one of my owners, they were calling my name over and over again, I answered with many meows but they still called out like they didn't hear me, but by the sound of the calling, it must have been too far away for them to hear me. Without thinking I quickly but careful started to climb down from the tree, once I reach the ground I realized the fox was long gone, and my collar kept beeping and jingled a bit. Fast as I could I ran towards the forest entrance and then I was out from the forest, the sun hit my pelt but the callings had stopped and I could easily find my way back now, I followed my old scent from yesterday. But instead of going towards the graveyard I ended up near a path, I could hear loud noises without I know it a big thing showed up and fast passed me. I backed away fast but then I see that on the other side of that big path, was more to explore, I quickly crossed the path, with luck I made it and before I knew it, that there was more to explore.

[Ellis]

The last chapter.

I wondered where this was leading me as I kept walk, I was surprised that there was much more to explore. But of course there was more paths that was very dangerous, but I all I had to do was to be careful, many different scent hit my nose once again, I flicked my tail irritated because of all the sounds around me. Once again I crossed a path with luck, suddenly my collar started to beep again, it was irritating to hear that beeping sound. After a while it stopped and I was tired so I went back the same way I came from, back to the graveyard and towards my home. It was already late so I was inside and eating, with my belly full, my owner picked me up and put me down on the bed. I quickly fell asleep because of how tired I was. Once again I woke up thanks to my brother, once again I was outside again, and fast as I could I ran back past the graveyard and back to the field. And the good thing was that I haven’t seen the fox on days, but this time I was not alone, I had my brothers with me, Lucifer, Gustav and Bus. But Lucifer said it was very dangerous here and mostly that path but I didn't worry so much about that path, my brothers was exploring the big field, and I was going to explore more on the other side of the path. I was ready to cross, but once I stepped on that path a horrible sound closed in, and I fast looked around and before I knew it a big thing was in front of me. I had no time to react and I didn't know what was happening, the only thing I expected was pain but instead everything went black. I slowly opened my eyes and slowly looked around me, I noticed a little bell, then I realized that bell came from my collar, suddenly I realized I couldn't feel any pain at all, I struggled to my paw. Then I turned around and saw a horribly thing, I was staring at my own body, then I knew I was no longer alive but what was my owners going to say about this? I quickly went home, but it felt like hours passed before I even got home. I could hear a sound, once I was inside without my owner knew it, I saw my owner cry of sadness, my owner called my name a lot but I tried to answer but knowing that my owner would never hear me again, then I said “I will never leave your side” and that was the last thing I promised to my owner.

[Ellis]

I know it's short but I didn't want it to be long.

[Sphye]

What a bittersweet ending, Ellis! Nice job!

[Ellis]

What a bittersweet ending, Ellis! Nice job!

Thank you Sphye, and I nearly started to cry when I wrote the end.

[ιηƒιηιтє.]

Oooh, I definitely did not see that ending pop up! Wonderful, yet also quite sad.

Besides a bit of grammar and punctuation problems, it is overall a very nice little ficlet; I loved the plaintive view of Sigge, and you handled the personified cat perspective very, very well. However, I feel like, although the ending was sad, the rest was a bit flat. There isn't a lot of emotion conveyed through words (I.e. the encounter between Sigge and the fox) and leaves audiences craving for a bit more. Lack of emotion also sometimes leads to anticlimatic scenes; I feel like some choice words could have really made the plot pop, and added detail besides. For example; instead of just writing, "It was a fox!" You could have thrown in a few nice adjectives, turning it into something like, "A bolt of fear raced through Sigge; it was a fox!" Thus adding the emotion and some nice, descriptive words to se the mood. The same goes for descriptions; adding a bit more to your descriptions will achieve the same effect.

That said, this was a wonderful piece! Keep on writing; I hope to be able to read more from you!

[Ellis]

Oooh, I definitely did not see that ending pop up! Wonderful, yet also quite sad.

Besides a bit of grammar and punctuation problems, it is overall a very nice little ficlet; I loved the plaintive view of Sigge, and you handled the personified cat perspective very, very well. However, I feel like, although the ending was sad, the rest was a bit flat. There isn't a lot of emotion conveyed through words (I.e. the encounter between Sigge and the fox) and leaves audiences craving for a bit more. Lack of emotion also sometimes leads to anticlimatic scenes; I feel like some choice words could have really made the plot pop, and added detail besides. For example; instead of just writing, "It was a fox!" You could have thrown in a few nice adjectives, turning it into something like, "A bolt of fear raced through Sigge; it was a fox!" Thus adding the emotion and some nice, descriptive words to se the mood. The same goes for descriptions; adding a bit more to your descriptions will achieve the same effect.

That said, this was a wonderful piece! Keep on writing; I hope to be able to read more from you!

Thank you, I know that I could have write better but I blame me for for being Swedish and that I can't English that much xD