Clembot wrote:There's this petty Chicken Smoothie "Confessions blog" on tumblr in which people would pretty much anomynously bash users and I was actually mentioned on there.
I actually try hard to be a nice person so that really got me down
Sadly I think this kind of thing is part of an issue that's beyond CS. I don't know about other pet sites, but I do know that Flight Rising's community has a similar blog going, and the climate is exactly the same.
As hard as it sounds, I believe the best decision if you care what others think about you is to not look at those blogs. Don't follow them, or read them, don't check them 'just this once' or 'just to make sure'.
It's a really nasty feeling when people talk about you "behind your back" so to say, but let me put it this way: At the end of the day, do you think the opinion of an anonymous person on a random tumblr blog should have any power over you if all they do is to insult/mock/belittle you?
There is a line between reflecting on the things that people say about you to become a better person, and letting it get to you when people try to drag you down.
Because not every negative thing someone says about you is valid criticism. Sometimes people simply are jerks.
If all someone has to say about you is rude and insulting, are they really a person whose approval you want?
Allowing people to have a platform for their negative feelings without having to reveal their own identity attracts a lot of abuse, and you'll feel a lot better once you are able to get into the mindset that the vast majority of what gets said in such a place really, truly does not matter.
Realistically, different people's opinions have different weight to you, and you're allowed to decide that the opinion of someone who won't even reveal to you who they are is of no consequence to you. Ignoring them and not looking at what they say about you is ultimately better for you.
I'm sorry to hear you had that experience. It can be an awful feeling to find out people were being rude about you when you're genuinely trying to be friendly and avoid conflict. And unfortunately, knowing that you can't make everyone like you doesn't mean you'll never feel bad when someone inevitably ends up disliking you. But keeping the knowledge in mind and repeating it to yourself when it happens does help.
Out of the entire CS userbase only a tiniest fraction uses that blog at all, and it'd be sad for a small number of people to spoil the site for you entirely when there's plenty of users who either don't cause issues like these, or who are decent enough to resolve problems in a calm and mature manner.